Can Emotional Intelligence Be Learned?

So we know what Emotional Intelligence is, and that having it is important— but can Emotional Intelligence really be learned?  Can you actually learn how to be empathetic? Can you increase your skills in relationship building and, more importantly, can you maintain the new behaviors that you have learned?

An article I came across in the Harvard Business Review,  “Can You Really Improve Your Emotional Intelligence?” agrees with my take on the subject.

Emphatically YES, you can change your level of EQ— but know that it will take a lot of commitment and work. The article puts it best: 

“Everyone can change, but few people are seriously willing to try.”

So, although the changes are amazingly rewarding, you have to really step up and do the work.

Luckily, you don’t have to do this on your own. Find an experienced coach that knows about and can assess your EQ. According to the HBR:

“A well-designed coaching intervention can easily achieve improvements of 25%. Also, the most coachable element of EQ—interpersonal skills—has an average short-term improvement of 50%.”

These are amazing percentages!

Most of us are often unaware of our own behaviors or how others see us. I agree that the best coaching can only happen when you get accurate feedback from the people around you (this is often referred to as a ‘Leadership 360’).  Then compare their feedback about your EQ behaviors to your own beliefs. Scary?  You bet!  But I think the benefits of this tool far out way the anxiety that we all have when we ask to hear feedback about our own behavior!!

So what are the rewards you ask? Why go to all this trouble? How about career success, leadership ability, job satisfaction, and entrepreneurial potential, to name a few. Equally as important, research also shows that the benefits of EQ reach outside of work: happiness, mental and physical health, improved marital relationships, and decreased levels of the stress hormone cortisol. 

A coaching client of mine recently said to me, “This is really helping my work with my co-workers but it might be saving my marriage!”

I think that says it all, really. If you think you’re ready to take this leap, do yourself (and your career) a favor and get in touch!